Quotes From Austin as He Plays NCAA 09!

"here we go!"
"knee slapping...."
"Are you serious??!?!?!"
"I got pulled again!?!"
"Check out my stats!"
"HAHAHAHA"
"I like runningback because I don't have to make decisions"
"I couldn't call a timeout, I didn't have any left!"....me, "you had one left Austin"...."oh"
"Preseason I was ranked #27!"
"I'm averaging 111 rushing yards per game"...thats not that much austin...."It is when I only get 10 carries per game(said very defensively)"!
"I have 9 touchdowns in 3 games, thats pretty damn good, hahahahaha"!
"I'm good, I've won two Heismans!"
"I'm tough as nails!"
"Let's be nice to Austin for a change, can't we just do that?"
"Here we go, first Big Ten game....I'm going to roll through the Big Ten this year!"
"aaahhhhhhhhhhhhh, whats up? I just went 71 yards breaking 2 tackles for the touchdown!"
"OH, you are so lucky!"
"That wasn't me, that was my widereceiver!"
"I'd like to bend that quarterback over and give it to him!"
"This Butler guy is way more athletic than my last qb, I like him!"
"Oh whats up, another touchdown!"
"hahhahaaha, I'm averaging 41 yards per catch!"
"This play always freaks me out, I never know if he gives it to me or not!"
"I feel bad for my poor son, red beard jr!"
"Oh my gosh, please tell me someone saw that!!!"
"I'm a wrecking ball!!!, I'm a wrecking ball!!"
"God D*****"
"Got it, whats up!"
"ah dude, touchdown right here, that is if he gets it to me!"
"is there a trophy between Purdue and Minnesota?"
"Fricken pass it to me!"
"did you see how many times he spun??? He spun 5 times!!! What a retard"

This is only from the first half of his game, I got bored and tired from writing them all down, more to come soon!

Junior Varsity

It has come to my attention that many of us play video games on the "Junior Varsity" difficulty setting. Now, this setting is indeed something that can be acceptable for those under the age of 10, or those with sever mental handicaps, because it appropriately challenges the mind in these facets of life.

However, once one graduates to age 11, or overcomes severe mental disabilities, they must also graduate from the "Junior Varsity" difficulty settings. Failing to do so will inhibit further growth as a human, more specifically as a true "Man's Man." Performing on a lower level on something as simple video games then translates to a lower overall performance in life - aka - drink more, get fatter, date uglier woman, or hanging out with "The Little One."

Let us examine this in a more artistic manner. When you were younger you wore diapers to make sure that your feces was not strewn about the house because you were at an age where your mental capacity was similar to a monkey (they throw their feces, you just left on the ground). However, when you began to learn to speak, and walk, and quantum physics, you graduated from the diaper into the "pull-ups", or for some, right into "whitey-tighties". This is because it was the appropriate development path for your overall well-being.

Had you not taken this path of development and graduated from diapers to underwear, and subsequently into the use of the toilet to dispose of your waste, you would be sitting and reading this with a horribly smelly diaper, saturated with feces and urine, wrapped tightly upon you, and possibly with a little diaper rash. This then creates an overall negative life view.

From this example, we can see that not graduating to the most difficult setting on games, or the second most difficult setting will in turn lead you to sit in a pile of your own filth, rather than challenging you and developing you into the next Obama, or Hitler.... I mean....

So today I challenge you to challenge yourself - Move up a level and become greatness, lest you sit in your dirty diaper.