Name That Person 2

Pete=1
Everyone Else=0
Be the first person to post the name of the person pictured below as a comment.

Name That Person

This is a new game I am creating, the goal is to be the first person to name the person pictured below. The only rule is that you have to leave it as a comment with your name. Here we go with the first ever "Name That Person".

Colbert Burns President Bush to His Face

Only one man could have the balls to look the president in the face and rip on him for his war in Iraq. The man is Mr. Colbert, Mr. America. Mr. Bush doesn't seem to like the jokes too much, how who in Bush's office allowed something like this to happen. I can't wait until they let Colbert rip Obama to shreds as much as Geoff gets ripped to shreds by Matt in their "getaway".

Lebron James: Cheater

I will be the first to admit that Lebron James is one of the best players in the NBA since Michael Jordan and possibly ever, but to make it all the more impressive, he never even went to college.  But was his lack of college attendance really because he wasn't smart enough to get in anywhere?  Some would argue yes, especially since Lebron doesn't even know the rules of the sport he plays!  Check out Lebron completely ignore the rules of the game with this awesome travel.

We all know the real reason for Lebron's continued abuse of traveling and it is the lack of respectable refs in the NBA that are willing to call Lebron out.  They have let him become bigger than the game and that is an absolute shame.  Not to mention letting him dribble two times down the court for the eleven steps he takes makes him look like a buffoon.

Obama's stimulus plan to stimulate something other than the economy?

If the thought of President Obama's trillion dollar, big government stimulus package didn't already give Rahm Emanuel a big boner and make certifiably insane Speaker of the House, Nancy Pelosi wet, then they will really get off when they see that $335 Million of this "stimulus" package will be used towards the prevention of STD's!  Don't worry about the economy folks, going out and porking everyone in sight will take care of our financial whoas!

Oh, wait.....this isn't a joke?  NOPE!  Just another truth about the air-heads who somehow are leading our country.

Austin J. Hires Andrew E. as PR Agent

In a sudden twist of fate, Austin J. was forced to hire Andrew E. as his PR agent Tuesday night after horrifically low friend-approval ratings.

The irony of the situation exists because of an article authored by Austin J. in which he ridicules Andrew E. for his leadership and calls his profession nonsense.  But with his reputation in the dumpster, he has no other option but to turn to the master of Advertising and PR, Andrew E.

Austin J.’s  low friend-approval ratings stem from his extreme exploitation of blogging privileges.  His communication breakdown for the past 3 days has been the following:

97% - blog related communications

2% - rugby related communications

1% - why he is “tougher” than Jon O. who is “tough as nails”

Andrew E. is faced with a very difficult task in trying to rebuild Austin J.’s much tarnished image.  Expect to see changes in topical discussions including why University of Texas “blows the big one” and why Willmar is the worst city in MN.  Topics that Andrew is recommending for immediate termination include: blogging, rugby, University of Texas, Deloitte, and accounting.

Austin J. later added that, “I am just your average, left-brained, analytical, number crunching idiot that knows nothing about public perception, thats why I need Andrew E.’s help.”  Andrew E. responded by saying, “I’m glad to help out a friend, as long as he realizes how much people like him need people like me!”  

Bethel Senior is inducted into the Guiness Book of World Records

Bethel University senior Kyle L. has accomplished what many thought was impossible. Four months ago Kyle broke the world record for most first dates in one month. In the month of September Kyle managed to partake in an astonishing amount of first dates, 247 to be exact. After a few months of research put in by the Guinness book of world records team, they have decided to proclaim Kyle’s feat official. They have determined that all the dates were official although some of the participants may in fact have been under the age of 18. In the end they determined that age should not take place in the discussion as long as the girls were over the age of consent.

Although this accomplishment seems like a great one, it did not come without sacrifice. Many believe that Kyle’s dates were the real reason that he was kicked off the football team. After hearing this I decided to do a little research myself. In a conversation I had with coach Steve Johnson he said “Although I did not know about ALL the dates that Kyle was going on, I could tell that there was something taking most of his attention, and it does explain all the women that I saw him hanging around.” Also in my research I was able to talk to some of the girls that he went on dates with. Ashley Q., pictured above, said "although it did not work out between Kyle and I, I am still glad I was able to be part of such a historic event. Kyle gave me the night of my life, and he even cooked breakfast for me in the morning." Kyle is a man we should all respect for what he was able to accomplish.

Advertising: Who needs it?

With our economy in a seemingly never ending death spiral, what business has extra money to spend on advertising? None! During this troubling time companies need to cut back on their expenses and concentrate their funds only where they are needed, like paying their accountants. At Bethel University there seems to be a movement that is taking place with business students to start an advertising club. The student leading this charge is Bethel senior and 35 year old Andrew E., pictured above. My questions is should we as Bethel students be paying for a completely unnecessary club like the ad club. Especially when it is gonna be led by this kid.

I challenge you as Bethel students and faculty to think about this. If students want to get an education so they can go into advertising they should have just gone to National American University. If students want to pay the tuition that they are paying to go here they should at least get a job that matters. I think in these times we should save our money and use it to lower tuition cost and pay for important things like bills, instead of wasting it on useless clubs

Bethel University Associate Professor to run for President in 2012

In the year 2011, when President Hussein, I mean Obama, has single handedly run our country into the ground and the unemployment rate is so high the Great Depression would look like a relief, do not fear for there is hope for the future.  This hope comes in a form of "change" that takes America back to it's traditional ways of operation.  This hope comes in the name Chuck Hannema , a Bethel University professor who will be on the ballot in 2o12.

The ludicrous plans that President Obama has put in place to "change" the country and the World are only going to take us to a place that many of us never want to see; hell.  Even after big government spending has proven to never be the answer, Obama still believes it can somehow solve our economic problems today.  During FDR's "New Deal", big government spending somehow got praised for ending a recession that ended up lasting over seven years.  Not my idea of a solution.  Even FDR's Secretary of the Treasury admitted that the plan ended up doing nothing.  During the seventh year he said that they had spent and spent all the money they could and nothing was left..........and nothing had been done.  

To make matters even worse, President Obama is using the gloom and doom approach to get people to buy into his bullshit government spending budget.  This lack of confidence from our national leader does not do any of us any good.  What happened to the positive attitude Obama?  Did you finally realize that you are completely under-qualified for the Presidential position and don't know what in the hell you are doing?  

Chuck Hannema sees through Obama's gobbledigook.  Recently he was featured on WCCO TV's "Good Question" segment.  Hannema cannot believe why there is such a lack of confidence right now and says the FED, FDIC, SEC, and Government are all to blame.  That means you Mr. Obama.  All we can do now is pray that the next four years go by fast and that Obama's "Bridges to Nowhere" type projects do not completely drain all good American citizens pockets.  Chuck Hannema is the real hope that America needs: Vote Hannema in 2012

I think Winston Churchill said it best...."Socialism is a philosophy of failure, the creed of ignorance, and the gospel of envy, its inherent virtue is the equal sharing of misery." 

To see the full story and video segment with Chuck, follow the link below.

http://wcco.com/goodquestion/knowing.economy.turnaround.2.903695.html

In the words of Kevin McCallaster....Keep the "change", you filthy animal

Playa Hataz Ball

The rantings that go back and forth in 211.

Travishamockery

In a girls basketball game in Texas this past week, one school won the game 100-0.   The head coach of the winning team was fired and did not agree with the schools stated apology.  The losing team has a total of 20 girls at the school and 8 are on the basketball team.  It is an academy for students with learning differences.  

Here is a link to the story:  http://highschool.rivals.com/content.asp?CID=904726

This coach should be sentenced to a prison term at Guantanamo Bay for his ridiculous act.  Too bad President Obama is closing it down.  However, I think not even Obama would agree with this display of unsporstwoman like conduct.  He will probably pass a law outlawing sports so everyone can be equal.

Baseball: A game or a Religion?

Recently, I spotted Ben T. participating in activities that many at Bethel would consider a questionable activity. The activities in question do not involve ingesting any materials that may alter his state of mind, but instead involve Ben's purpose for living. It appears that Ben is leading a cult in the worship of baseball. At the start of the year Ben gave up drinking so he could totally commit his life to baseball. In an interview I had with Bethel senior baseball player Pete A he said "I am starting to worry about Ben, baseball has become his life and I think I saw him building a baseball alter in his locker."

I also have experienced Ben's worship of baseball. Last week he asked me if I knew where he could buy a live chicken. It is my belief that he was going to perform a living sacrifice to a baseball. Also in a statement I recieved from Matt N. he mentioned that one night he spotted Ben sitting in the bath room playing with a Wiji board. Although baseball is a very good game to both play and watch, I believe that some people are trying to make it into their religion. We will have to just wait and see if Ben's worship pays off. The Bethel baseball season starts soon and rumors are that Ben is suppose to have a great season. Lets just hope his arm holds up.

Area Man Runs Out of Plasma To Donate

After 4 years of donating his vital blood plasma, the well has run dry for Jay R.  He received the news at his last visit to Biolife Plasma Services.  Plasma Technician Susan W. recalls the event.  “I checked his plasma levels and there was nothing there.  I’ve seen people run low, even down to a couple drops, but never completely run out.”  She added that “he is probably the most desperate person I have ever met.”  Jay R. will now be forced with alternative means of financing date nights with his girlfriend, buying video games, and chipotle dinners.  Due to his body’s inability to generate any blood plasma for cash, Jay R. is inquiring about donating sperm, participating in dangerous medical studies, and selling body parts on the black market.

University Shuttle Driver Takes Turn for the Worst

Local Student Jon O., a devoted Shuttle Driver at Bethel University, was recently let go from his position late Sunday evening.  The decision had been forecast months before with repeated complaints of aggressive driving, poor music selection, and off-beat jokes to shuttle passengers.  After hearing the decision Jon O. had this to say, "Yeah I'm pissed, that was my best opportunity to talk to freshman girls."  The most recent complaint came from a group of Juniors taking the shuttle to Fountain Terrace last Thursday.  Bryan S. recounts the situation, "We had just finished up a group project and were eager to get back to Fountain so we could get some much needed rest.  After waiting outside for the shuttle for several minutes, all we wanted was the shuttle to be warm so we could heat up our chilled bones, but when we got in the shuttle we soon discovered that Jon O. had the Air Conditioning turned on when it was a cold -4 degrees outside.  I filed a complaint as soon as I got home!"  Many speculate Jon O. was driving the shuttle that night with the Air Conditioner on to prove he's tough as nails.

THIS JUST IN: GEOFF IS BACK IN AMERICA AND EUROPE COULDN'T BE HAPPIER

In case you are wondering, it is true, Geoff is officially back in his country of origin. He has been gone for around 3 weeks and just this evening his flight arrived back at MSP airport. According to others on his trip, Geoff thoroughly enjoyed himself but it was much at the expense of the natives of the countries he was in. In a statement I recieved from Karel Schwarzenberg, the current minister in charge of the European Union, he is quoted as saying "Im just glad that he has fled our continent, now we can concentrate on more pressing issues like the economy."

In a recent conversation I had with Professor Opsata, she mentioned that she thinks that Geoff quite possibly could be the son of Satan himself. I quickly defended Geoff and mentioned to her that if he truly was the son of satan than he would have much more appeal to others and he could not possibly live the life that Geoff leads. Also in a poll I recently took, I found that Europe's approval rating of America during President Bush's final term was at an all time low of 38%. After President Obama was elected the ratings immediately jumped up to 69%, but during Geoff's time in Europe it dropped all the way back down to 38% meaning that Geoff has single handedly reversed all of the forseen improvements that President Obama could make.

Local Male Becomes Pregnant?

Local male college student is found to be pregnant.  This bizarre occurrence has doctors everywhere puzzled and concerned.  Matt Nungesser appears to be with child and is due sometime in late May.  After intense studies and research, it has been confirmed that it must be some sort of divine intervention like Jesus and Marry since Matt is indeed still a virgin.  When asked about his miraculous pregnancy, Matt said, "I am very excited to be carrying a gift of God and hope that it is a beautiful baby boy."  He also commented, "I just hope he doesn't take after his father and have my steel hands.  Maybe God will grant me another miracle and give my son the hands of Larry Fitzgerald."  

Unfortunately for Matt, God has not answered his prayers.  After his ultrasound last week, doctors found that he is carrying a beautiful Steak Chipotle burrito.  It should come out weighing a solid 5 pounds 8 ounces with all its condiments fully intact.  If it is not a failed birth, it will be a new world record sized burrito.  Chipotle has been contacting Matt to see if they can use the burrito birth as a new advertisement campaign.

When asked about carrying a burrito, Matt responded by saying, "God has his own plans for me and my burrito.  Maybe he is trying to tell me to stop being so fat and always eating at Chipotle."  Matt also added that he plans on going through with the pregnancy because he believes abortion is morally wrong.

We wish Matt the best of luck during his pregnancy.  Let's just pray that he doesn't go through a stretch of bad morning sickness and take out his feminine mood swings on the rest of the roommates.

Sloth Spotting Part Duex: Waking of the Sloth

In a previous post I had described the sloths daily routine and the dangers of waking one during their prime hours of slumber.  Here are some pictures of Jay as he is woken by Ben.   Fortunately he did not get eaten like the last kid, but the attacks were vicious none the less.

is there a better animated show...South Park?

turben family christmas vacation

This was my first family vacation to Cancun, Mexico and we stayed just outside Cancun at a resort called El Cid. We went with another family and had a blast for most of the time. The pool side service and entertainment was excellent and it was all inclusive which meant all you can eat and drink....too bad could not take advantage of this as my year of abstaining from any form of alcohol was about half way over at the time, which I'll keep you all updated to how that's going as time moves along. El Cid is more family oriented in that there is nothing for young adults to do at night or anything around you can walk to. Some how in Mexico I caught a nasty cold and decided to go scuba diving...not a good idea, you are unable to balance out the pressure on your head when you have a cold and your sinuses are all clogged up...I pushed through all the pain but when I got to the surface I was bleeding out of my nose and threw up when I got on shore then stayed in bed for the next 4 hours. I thought I cracked my sinus cavity which I guess is a possible reason I was bleeding out of my nose. The last day we had a photographer take some family pictures here they are below.

Shot of the whole group in front of the main lobby.

Sibling Shot (For the record...I told Vitaly no pink.)

Family Photo

Introduction to: FrankyPetes

Sex: Male

Birthday: January 14

Hometown: Justnorthofburnsville, MN

Relationship Status: Married

Interested In: Women

Political Views: Ron Paul 2012

Religious Views: Tom Cruise

Activities: Growing mustaches, runner up for Heisman, being a has been, trying to relive glory days at JHS, living off Milton his father, Ambien, Old English 40's, chasing Geoff and Austin away from his wife.

Recent News: Pete is trying to pickup playing baseball after not playing in 3 years by making the varsity baseball team. Fun fact about Pete, he drives a Mini Cooper and has 3 nicknames: Franky his alter ego, Mitch his mustache and "little bitch" according to Austin.

By Far the Most Watched Movie In Our Room

We RedBoxed this movie and watched it 5 times in 5 days.....these are by far the most quoted lines.

Why the HELL would you spell your name "Geoff"?

One aspect of Geoff that pisses me off is his name, Geoff. It seems that if a Jeff wants to make something out of himself, he spells his name “Jeff”, NOT “Geoff”. According to Wikipedia, Geoff is a fictional land that is part of the Dungeons & Dragons video game and is properly known as the Grand Duchy of Geoff... That sounds pretty gay... There are no famous Geoffs ever in history; however, there are plenty of famous “Jeffs”.

Jeff Gordon, one of the best racecar drivers ever, winning the Daytona 500 3 times… He didn’t spell his name “Geoff”.


Jeff Foxworthy, comedian and actor, bring laughs to millions of rednecks and member of the Blue Collar Comedy Tour... He didn’t spell his name “Geoff”.

Jeff Probst, host of the first reality TV show, Survivor. He gets to hang out with girls in bikinis all day and comfort them after their tribe votes them out.

Jeffy the duck, this famous duck likes to dance and do lines...

While all these Jeffs were smart and spelled their name correctly, there is one famous Geoffrey…
Unfortunately, our Geoff is not a giraffe.

A Day of Mourning

Obama is our President...

My YouTube Claim to Fame

This video was taken at the castle in Czesky Krumlov, Czek Republic in the fall of 2007 during the business study abroad touring Europe. I am the one at the far end twirling the rope.

To: Andrew and Matt

There is a problem when one lets a girl come between you and your roommates birthday. It happened last week on a day special to me January 16, which on that day 22 years ago someone was born in Bermuda. During the day we were making fun of Jay for saying that he couldn't come because he had to go practice voice lessons and both of you were part of it. I come home from Chipotle expecting everyone to come but both of you made up excuses that you couldn't come and when we came home from the movie, you both were with your girlfriends.......not even a happy birthday...Phill made me a cake! Austin and Pete saw the movie for the second time! You two need to get your heads out of each others asses and get your priorities straight! Need I say more......1/1/09=no balls.......2/14/09=redemption!

Suspended

In celebration of Geoff's much acclaimed 3 day suspension from school, I thought it would be fitting to make a list of possible activities that Geoff will actually do during that time.

1.  Research the freshman class and identify the single worst trait for each individual girl

2. Try to convince SA that he actually was a Hamline student and just transferred to Bethel

3. Throw away the butter he left in the kitchen

4. Throw away all of his pizza boxes

5. Try to repair his tainted self image from Winter Banquet

  

Embarrassment

No words need to be said about this pathetic display.

"why don't you take a seat"

What could possibly be going through this guys mind as he sees his worst nightmare appear from behind the door once again and why is it that Chris Hansen can always seem to hypnotize the criminals into actually sitting down and engaging in conversation with him? "Do you know who I am?......I'm Chris Hansen"!

Sloth Spotting

  Picture of a Sloth at 3:00PM slumber

Sloth spottings are a common occurrence in Heritage.  On most days, waking up after 1:00PM is routine for sloths.  Jay Rainey is the king of the sloth community in this neck of the woods.  He can usually be seen in his active and natural habitat between the hours of 11PM and 5AM.  During this time period you can see the sloth move from one place to another very slowly and with little communication other than the usual hhmmmppphhhhh.  The sloth usually finds a nice place to lounge during the hours he is awake and doesn't take kindly to people that try to steal his stuff without permission.  Thankfully for all of us, sloths are usually very ssssllloooowwwww to anger and often do not have the energy or will to do any retaliation if harm is caused to them.  The only time sloths can be dangerous is when they are awoken from their mid afternoon slumber.  I would advise never to do this.  One kid did.....he got eaten.

Taste In Women

As a bunch of college age kids, you would expect that we have the best standards when it comes to women.  Those standards, for those of us who are single, are NO STANDARDS.  We are young, alone, and at certain times we are desperate.  The one they call, "Geoff", should have the lowest standards on the face of the earth.  I can't even remember the last time this kid talked to a girl......Oh yeah, it was when Frenchy asked him for his card at the dining center.

With that said, the one they call, "Geoff", has the highest standards of any male I have ever met.  The things he picks out as flaws in women are so ridiculous you can't even see them with the average human eye.  The guys and I like to point out girls that we think are of pretty high caliber to the one they call "Geoff" to see how brutal he can be in his critique of them.

Here is a top 10 list of a things Geoff has picked out in beautiful women:

1.  She has big feet

2.  I can't stand her laugh

3.  She's a bitch

4.  Her elbows are too pointy

5.  Her nostrils are not even

6. She has saggy skin

7.  Her torso is way too long

8.  Guys, she is really hot, but her wrists are too skinny

9.  She's a liberal

10.  She's gorgeous, but I think I might just hit from the other side of the dish.

How long will it take until Geoff finally reels in a female?  Time may never tell....

First Post

The purpose of this blog is to post random crap about what goes on in our room and the stories that make this room so great. We are made up of 6 roommates: Ben, Kyle, Andrew, Geoff, Matt, and Jay + Pete who lives downstairs + Chris who lives upstairs all living on a university campus. We'll see how this goes, welcome to our lives........