Colbert Burns President Bush to His Face

Only one man could have the balls to look the president in the face and rip on him for his war in Iraq. The man is Mr. Colbert, Mr. America. Mr. Bush doesn't seem to like the jokes too much, how who in Bush's office allowed something like this to happen. I can't wait until they let Colbert rip Obama to shreds as much as Geoff gets ripped to shreds by Matt in their "getaway".

THIS JUST IN: GEOFF IS BACK IN AMERICA AND EUROPE COULDN'T BE HAPPIER

In case you are wondering, it is true, Geoff is officially back in his country of origin. He has been gone for around 3 weeks and just this evening his flight arrived back at MSP airport. According to others on his trip, Geoff thoroughly enjoyed himself but it was much at the expense of the natives of the countries he was in. In a statement I recieved from Karel Schwarzenberg, the current minister in charge of the European Union, he is quoted as saying "Im just glad that he has fled our continent, now we can concentrate on more pressing issues like the economy."

In a recent conversation I had with Professor Opsata, she mentioned that she thinks that Geoff quite possibly could be the son of Satan himself. I quickly defended Geoff and mentioned to her that if he truly was the son of satan than he would have much more appeal to others and he could not possibly live the life that Geoff leads. Also in a poll I recently took, I found that Europe's approval rating of America during President Bush's final term was at an all time low of 38%. After President Obama was elected the ratings immediately jumped up to 69%, but during Geoff's time in Europe it dropped all the way back down to 38% meaning that Geoff has single handedly reversed all of the forseen improvements that President Obama could make.

Introduction to: FrankyPetes

Sex: Male

Birthday: January 14

Hometown: Justnorthofburnsville, MN

Relationship Status: Married

Interested In: Women

Political Views: Ron Paul 2012

Religious Views: Tom Cruise

Activities: Growing mustaches, runner up for Heisman, being a has been, trying to relive glory days at JHS, living off Milton his father, Ambien, Old English 40's, chasing Geoff and Austin away from his wife.

Recent News: Pete is trying to pickup playing baseball after not playing in 3 years by making the varsity baseball team. Fun fact about Pete, he drives a Mini Cooper and has 3 nicknames: Franky his alter ego, Mitch his mustache and "little bitch" according to Austin.

Why the HELL would you spell your name "Geoff"?

One aspect of Geoff that pisses me off is his name, Geoff. It seems that if a Jeff wants to make something out of himself, he spells his name “Jeff”, NOT “Geoff”. According to Wikipedia, Geoff is a fictional land that is part of the Dungeons & Dragons video game and is properly known as the Grand Duchy of Geoff... That sounds pretty gay... There are no famous Geoffs ever in history; however, there are plenty of famous “Jeffs”.

Jeff Gordon, one of the best racecar drivers ever, winning the Daytona 500 3 times… He didn’t spell his name “Geoff”.


Jeff Foxworthy, comedian and actor, bring laughs to millions of rednecks and member of the Blue Collar Comedy Tour... He didn’t spell his name “Geoff”.

Jeff Probst, host of the first reality TV show, Survivor. He gets to hang out with girls in bikinis all day and comfort them after their tribe votes them out.

Jeffy the duck, this famous duck likes to dance and do lines...

While all these Jeffs were smart and spelled their name correctly, there is one famous Geoffrey…
Unfortunately, our Geoff is not a giraffe.

Taste In Women

As a bunch of college age kids, you would expect that we have the best standards when it comes to women.  Those standards, for those of us who are single, are NO STANDARDS.  We are young, alone, and at certain times we are desperate.  The one they call, "Geoff", should have the lowest standards on the face of the earth.  I can't even remember the last time this kid talked to a girl......Oh yeah, it was when Frenchy asked him for his card at the dining center.

With that said, the one they call, "Geoff", has the highest standards of any male I have ever met.  The things he picks out as flaws in women are so ridiculous you can't even see them with the average human eye.  The guys and I like to point out girls that we think are of pretty high caliber to the one they call "Geoff" to see how brutal he can be in his critique of them.

Here is a top 10 list of a things Geoff has picked out in beautiful women:

1.  She has big feet

2.  I can't stand her laugh

3.  She's a bitch

4.  Her elbows are too pointy

5.  Her nostrils are not even

6. She has saggy skin

7.  Her torso is way too long

8.  Guys, she is really hot, but her wrists are too skinny

9.  She's a liberal

10.  She's gorgeous, but I think I might just hit from the other side of the dish.

How long will it take until Geoff finally reels in a female?  Time may never tell....