Heritage room 211 roommate Kyle L. was recently nominated for the school’s prestigious worst roommate award. When asked about his nomination, Kyle L. had this to say, “I am so proud of myself. This is the culmination of my 4 years of work to be the biggest ass-hole on campus!” The other 5 roommates agreed that the nomination is consistent with Kyle L.’s generally abrasive and destructive personality.
Kyle L. has been impressed with his recent performance due to his relatively short body of work over the interim and spring semesters. “Because I am only staying there 3 or 4 nights a week, I need to pack more ass-hole per hour.” Heritage residents and Bethel students agree that his “A-H/H ratio has been off the charts.
With the next 2 weeks open for voting, Kyle L. is anticipated as the landslide victor. Expected to round out the top 5, respectively, are: Chris “I complain way too much” Theilen, Matt “I make Geoff sleep on the couch” Nungesser, Tim Churchill, and Frenchy (nominated by Geoff).
harsh....
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