Friday, January 30, 2009
Name That Person 2
Everyone Else=0
Be the first person to post the name of the person pictured below as a comment.
Thursday, January 29, 2009
Name That Person
Colbert Burns President Bush to His Face
Only one man could have the balls to look the president in the face and rip on him for his war in Iraq. The man is Mr. Colbert, Mr. America. Mr. Bush doesn't seem to like the jokes too much, how who in Bush's office allowed something like this to happen. I can't wait until they let Colbert rip Obama to shreds as much as Geoff gets ripped to shreds by Matt in their "getaway".
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Lebron James: Cheater
We all know the real reason for Lebron's continued abuse of traveling and it is the lack of respectable refs in the NBA that are willing to call Lebron out. They have let him become bigger than the game and that is an absolute shame. Not to mention letting him dribble two times down the court for the eleven steps he takes makes him look like a buffoon.
Obama's stimulus plan to stimulate something other than the economy?
If the thought of President Obama's trillion dollar, big government stimulus package didn't already give Rahm Emanuel a big boner and make certifiably insane Speaker of the House, Nancy Pelosi wet, then they will really get off when they see that $335 Million of this "stimulus" package will be used towards the prevention of STD's! Don't worry about the economy folks, going out and porking everyone in sight will take care of our financial whoas!
Austin J. Hires Andrew E. as PR Agent
In a sudden twist of fate, Austin J. was forced to hire Andrew E. as his PR agent Tuesday night after horrifically low friend-approval ratings.
The irony of the situation exists because of an article authored by Austin J. in which he ridicules Andrew E. for his leadership and calls his profession nonsense. But with his reputation in the dumpster, he has no other option but to turn to the master of Advertising and PR, Andrew E.
Austin J.’s low friend-approval ratings stem from his extreme exploitation of blogging privileges. His communication breakdown for the past 3 days has been the following:
97% - blog related communications
2% - rugby related communications
1% - why he is “tougher” than Jon O. who is “tough as nails”
Andrew E. is faced with a very difficult task in trying to rebuild Austin J.’s much tarnished image. Expect to see changes in topical discussions including why University of Texas “blows the big one” and why Willmar is the worst city in MN. Topics that Andrew is recommending for immediate termination include: blogging, rugby, University of Texas, Deloitte, and accounting.
Austin J. later added that, “I am just your average, left-brained, analytical, number crunching idiot that knows nothing about public perception, thats why I need Andrew E.’s help.” Andrew E. responded by saying, “I’m glad to help out a friend, as long as he realizes how much people like him need people like me!”
Bethel Senior is inducted into the Guiness Book of World Records
Bethel University senior Kyle L. has accomplished what many thought was impossible. Four months ago Kyle broke the world record for most first dates in one month. In the month of September Kyle managed to partake in an astonishing amount of first dates, 247 to be exact. After a few months of research put in by the Guinness book of world records team, they have decided to proclaim Kyle’s feat official. They have determined that all the dates were official although some of the participants may in fact have been under the age of 18. In the end they determined that age should not take place in the discussion as long as the girls were over the age of consent.
Although this accomplishment seems like a great one, it did not come without sacrifice. Many believe that Kyle’s dates were the real reason that he was kicked off the football team. After hearing this I decided to do a little research myself. In a conversation I had with coach Steve Johnson he said “Although I did not know about ALL the dates that Kyle was going on, I could tell that there was something taking most of his attention, and it does explain all the women that I saw him hanging around.” Also in my research I was able to talk to some of the girls that he went on dates with. Ashley Q., pictured above, said "although it did not work out between Kyle and I, I am still glad I was able to be part of such a historic event. Kyle gave me the night of my life, and he even cooked breakfast for me in the morning." Kyle is a man we should all respect for what he was able to accomplish.
Monday, January 26, 2009
Advertising: Who needs it?
I challenge you as Bethel students and faculty to think about this. If students want to get an education so they can go into advertising they should have just gone to National American University. If students want to pay the tuition that they are paying to go here they should at least get a job that matters. I think in these times we should save our money and use it to lower tuition cost and pay for important things like bills, instead of wasting it on useless clubs
Bethel University Associate Professor to run for President in 2012
Travishamockery
Baseball: A game or a Religion?
Recently, I spotted Ben T. participating in activities that many at Bethel would consider a questionable activity. The activities in question do not involve ingesting any materials that may alter his state of mind, but instead involve Ben's purpose for living. It appears that Ben is leading a cult in the worship of baseball. At the start of the year Ben gave up drinking so he could totally commit his life to baseball. In an interview I had with Bethel senior baseball player Pete A he said "I am starting to worry about Ben, baseball has become his life and I think I saw him building a baseball alter in his locker."
I also have experienced Ben's worship of baseball. Last week he asked me if I knew where he could buy a live chicken. It is my belief that he was going to perform a living sacrifice to a baseball. Also in a statement I recieved from Matt N. he mentioned that one night he spotted Ben sitting in the bath room playing with a Wiji board. Although baseball is a very good game to both play and watch, I believe that some people are trying to make it into their religion. We will have to just wait and see if Ben's worship pays off. The Bethel baseball season starts soon and rumors are that Ben is suppose to have a great season. Lets just hope his arm holds up.
Area Man Runs Out of Plasma To Donate
After 4 years of donating his vital blood plasma, the well has run dry for Jay R. He received the news at his last visit to Biolife Plasma Services. Plasma Technician Susan W. recalls the event. “I checked his plasma levels and there was nothing there. I’ve seen people run low, even down to a couple drops, but never completely run out.” She added that “he is probably the most desperate person I have ever met.” Jay R. will now be forced with alternative means of financing date nights with his girlfriend, buying video games, and chipotle dinners. Due to his body’s inability to generate any blood plasma for cash, Jay R. is inquiring about donating sperm, participating in dangerous medical studies, and selling body parts on the black market.
University Shuttle Driver Takes Turn for the Worst
Local Student Jon O., a devoted Shuttle Driver at Bethel University, was recently let go from his position late Sunday evening. The decision had been forecast months before with repeated complaints of aggressive driving, poor music selection, and off-beat jokes to shuttle passengers. After hearing the decision Jon O. had this to say, "Yeah I'm pissed, that was my best opportunity to talk to freshman girls." The most recent complaint came from a group of Juniors taking the shuttle to Fountain Terrace last Thursday. Bryan S. recounts the situation, "We had just finished up a group project and were eager to get back to Fountain so we could get some much needed rest. After waiting outside for the shuttle for several minutes, all we wanted was the shuttle to be warm so we could heat up our chilled bones, but when we got in the shuttle we soon discovered that Jon O. had the Air Conditioning turned on when it was a cold -4 degrees outside. I filed a complaint as soon as I got home!" Many speculate Jon O. was driving the shuttle that night with the Air Conditioner on to prove he's tough as nails.
In case you are wondering, it is true, Geoff is officially back in his country of origin. He has been gone for around 3 weeks and just this evening his flight arrived back at MSP airport. According to others on his trip, Geoff thoroughly enjoyed himself but it was much at the expense of the natives of the countries he was in. In a statement I recieved from Karel Schwarzenberg, the current minister in charge of the European Union, he is quoted as saying "Im just glad that he has fled our continent, now we can concentrate on more pressing issues like the economy."
In a recent conversation I had with Professor Opsata, she mentioned that she thinks that Geoff quite possibly could be the son of Satan himself. I quickly defended Geoff and mentioned to her that if he truly was the son of satan than he would have much more appeal to others and he could not possibly live the life that Geoff leads. Also in a poll I recently took, I found that Europe's approval rating of America during President Bush's final term was at an all time low of 38%. After President Obama was elected the ratings immediately jumped up to 69%, but during Geoff's time in Europe it dropped all the way back down to 38% meaning that Geoff has single handedly reversed all of the forseen improvements that President Obama could make.
Local Male Becomes Pregnant?
Local male college student is found to be pregnant. This bizarre occurrence has doctors everywhere puzzled and concerned. Matt Nungesser appears to be with child and is due sometime in late May. After intense studies and research, it has been confirmed that it must be some sort of divine intervention like Jesus and Marry since Matt is indeed still a virgin. When asked about his miraculous pregnancy, Matt said, "I am very excited to be carrying a gift of God and hope that it is a beautiful baby boy." He also commented, "I just hope he doesn't take after his father and have my steel hands. Maybe God will grant me another miracle and give my son the hands of Larry Fitzgerald."
Sunday, January 25, 2009
Sloth Spotting Part Duex: Waking of the Sloth
turben family christmas vacation
This was my first family vacation to Cancun, Mexico and we stayed just outside Cancun at a resort called El Cid. We went with another family and had a blast for most of the time. The pool side service and entertainment was excellent and it was all inclusive which meant all you can eat and drink....too bad could not take advantage of this as my year of abstaining from any form of alcohol was about half way over at the time, which I'll keep you all updated to how that's going as time moves along. El Cid is more family oriented in that there is nothing for young adults to do at night or anything around you can walk to. Some how in Mexico I caught a nasty cold and decided to go scuba diving...not a good idea, you are unable to balance out the pressure on your head when you have a cold and your sinuses are all clogged up...I pushed through all the pain but when I got to the surface I was bleeding out of my nose and threw up when I got on shore then stayed in bed for the next 4 hours. I thought I cracked my sinus cavity which I guess is a possible reason I was bleeding out of my nose. The last day we had a photographer take some family pictures here they are below.
Saturday, January 24, 2009
Introduction to: FrankyPetes
- Sex: Male
- Birthday: January 14
- Hometown: Justnorthofburnsville, MN
- Relationship Status: Married
- Interested In: Women
- Political Views: Ron Paul 2012
- Religious Views: Tom Cruise
Recent News: Pete is trying to pickup playing baseball after not playing in 3 years by making the varsity baseball team. Fun fact about Pete, he drives a Mini Cooper and has 3 nicknames: Franky his alter ego, Mitch his mustache and "little bitch" according to Austin.
By Far the Most Watched Movie In Our Room
We RedBoxed this movie and watched it 5 times in 5 days.....these are by far the most quoted lines.
Friday, January 23, 2009
Why the HELL would you spell your name "Geoff"?
Jeff Gordon, one of the best racecar drivers ever, winning the Daytona 500 3 times… He didn’t spell his name “Geoff”.
Jeff Foxworthy, comedian and actor, bring laughs to millions of rednecks and member of the Blue Collar Comedy Tour... He didn’t spell his name “Geoff”.
Jeff Probst, host of the first reality TV show, Survivor. He gets to hang out with girls in bikinis all day and comfort them after their tribe votes them out.
Jeffy the duck, this famous duck likes to dance and do lines...
While all these Jeffs were smart and spelled their name correctly, there is one famous Geoffrey…
Unfortunately, our Geoff is not a giraffe.
My YouTube Claim to Fame
This video was taken at the castle in Czesky Krumlov, Czek Republic in the fall of 2007 during the business study abroad touring Europe. I am the one at the far end twirling the rope.
To: Andrew and Matt
Suspended
In celebration of Geoff's much acclaimed 3 day suspension from school, I thought it would be fitting to make a list of possible activities that Geoff will actually do during that time.
"why don't you take a seat"
What could possibly be going through this guys mind as he sees his worst nightmare appear from behind the door once again and why is it that Chris Hansen can always seem to hypnotize the criminals into actually sitting down and engaging in conversation with him? "Do you know who I am?......I'm Chris Hansen"!
Sloth Spotting
Taste In Women
As a bunch of college age kids, you would expect that we have the best standards when it comes to women. Those standards, for those of us who are single, are NO STANDARDS. We are young, alone, and at certain times we are desperate. The one they call, "Geoff", should have the lowest standards on the face of the earth. I can't even remember the last time this kid talked to a girl......Oh yeah, it was when Frenchy asked him for his card at the dining center.
First Post
The purpose of this blog is to post random crap about what goes on in our room and the stories that make this room so great. We are made up of 6 roommates: Ben, Kyle, Andrew, Geoff, Matt, and Jay + Pete who lives downstairs + Chris who lives upstairs all living on a university campus. We'll see how this goes, welcome to our lives........